MARRY for LOVE or STABILITY??

Now-a-days, everyone has their own opinions and views of what marriage should be.  I am in No way married or even close to getting married (I'll get to that when the time comes... If that time comes).  Anyhow, as a kid adults were often in my ear telling me all of these reasons to marry or not to marry.  I found them to be very interesting and unexpected to say the least.

 

Honestly, marriage is not a big deal in my family... I can count on one hand how many are actually married.  For advice on that slice of life , I had to rely on others such as teachers, mentors...etc.  I remember being in the 7th grade and had a teacher say to me, "Senobia, you are a Beautiful girl and many men will love and adore you; however, you make sure they love you more than you love them... and absolutely do Not marry solely for love.  Love will eventually fade away, but if you have stability, you can still survive and push through."  The look on my face on my face though... Priceless!!  I said to myself, "This woman is a freaking Looney Bin!!"

 

Now that I'm older and wiser, I get to see how things operate for myself.  I can clearly make the decision to marry for whatever reasons "I" choose to do so (to each his own).  One thing I will say is that from what I've witnessed through others, marriage has become completely distorted.  I can't base my life off of others but damn... I'm not getting the butterfly feeling in my stomach or googly eyes either. 

 

Sooo, I recently asked this young lady (26 years old) what was her reason to marry.  She told me that she came from nothing and refuses to go back to having nothing.  She loves her fiancé', but she needs stability in her life more so than love.  Once love fades away then what do you have left?  I don't judge but I was like "Wow... Okay, I appreciate your honesty...Lol!"

 

You have those who say marriage should only be for love because money isn't everything (love doesn't pay the mortgage).  We also have those who say it should be stability because people fall out of love all the time... then comes Divorce.  Biblically we all know what marriage should be; however, not many people have a true understanding of what is really asked of us.

 

I always like to hear what others have to say on this matter because everyone is different and I DO NOT JUDGE.  That is not my place.  Again, I am not yet married nor am I ashamed of not being married.  I'm not one who rushes into things for the sake of saying I'm married or for the glitz and glamour of it all.  When I feel it is my time, I will stand before GOD and make that vow.  Until then, I'm doing me... (Take it however you like).  So, whenever that time comes for you, be it male or female what will be your true reason for marrying?  Is it Love or Stability?

~Live Unapologetically

Power Couples... Superficial or Empowering?

Okay, So I was conversing with a friend of mine and I told him that whenever I find "that one", I want very much so to be a POWER COUPLE.  He looked at me and asked, "Well, don't you think that is very Superficial?"  I smacked my lips and said, "Hell No!!"  Their take on it is that only Celebrities can be Power Couples and you must have money and etc...  Ummm, BLAH!!

 

There is a lot of scrutiny in this whole "power couple" thing, but I feel that it's all in how YOU choose to live your life and what you want in your partner.  I'm not superficial and I definitely don't think I'm some sort of celebrity or anything.  I just want that Strong Black Man encouraging and uplifting me as I would reciprocate for him.  I'm no trophy wife type of girl but I can guarantee I would complement him without a doubt (Yes, I'm just that confident).  Hey, men love a Confident woman.  Isn't that right guys? :-)

 

Some people choose to live a more quiet life and there is nothing wrong with that.  I don't turn my nose up at that idea, but people seem to turn their noses up at me about what I want.  Yeah... I don't care... I DO ME!!  Maybe, some people don't feel its attainable; yet, they secretly deep down want that same empowerment too (snickering to myself).  Just be honest with yourself.  

 

For those who have met me, still in my circle/space or just crossed my path, typically view me as the quiet, private person, yet dominate and intimidating.  (Hey, these are not my adjectives). Okay, moving along... I feel there are key components to being a Power Couple.  I won't list them all; however, I know that whomever that man shall be will want me as an equal partner, will also believe women should be smart, ambitious and opinionated.  Whew, now that's a sexy man!! Lol!!  Above all, we BOTH will have high-powered careers and will be influential.  Oh yeah... he exists out there somewhere and I WILL find him.

 

I love to radiate positive energy and empower others.  So, why not have that relationship where we do it together?  We'll be sure to know when that time has arrived because people will begin to admire us; yet, Definitely criticize due to extreme envy.  (Ha... Don't you just love that)!  It shall only push you further and remind you that people are admiring and taking notes.  Yeah, well that's the point!!

 

All in all, everyone has the right to feel however they choose about relationships and the whole power couple thing.  Whatever... DO YOU!!  I say it's not all about money, but the Majority of those type of relationships do have wealth.  What is wrong with that??  Absolutely nothing!!  I do not feel it's Superficial at all.  So after writing all of this, I STILL say that I want to be a Power Couple.  You may form your own opinion of me and that's perfectly fine.  I'm putting this out over social media so comment away as you please... Just know that it changes nothing.  I live for me and you should be living for you. 

~Live Unapologetically  

My Brown Skin is Prettier than your Dark Skin!!

I know many of you read this headline and instantly thought "WTF"!!!  This Beotch is Crazy!! First, I will like to say that I do NOT by any means feel this way.  The majority of you are aware of the prejudices and stereotypes within the Black/African American race.  It is one thing for others outside of our race to view us a certain way, but it's Shameful when our OWN people view us in that same manner.  I decided to post about this today because I recently overheard two Twenty-Somethings young women actually arguing and one girl told the other, "That's why you'll never be anything or get anywhere in life because you BLACK"...(meaning darker skinned)!!  Yes, they were flat out serious.  I could have screamed (I wish y'all could have seen the look on my face), but I stayed in my lane.  The girl who made the comment was light-skinned.  If you all could have heard that conversation, you would have been picking up your bottom jaw.  It got REAL...Literally!!

 

I am brown-skinned (caramel complexion); however, starting around the age of ten, I was often picked on by others whose skin tones were different than mine.  For whatever reason I was categorized as Light-Skinned.  Many dark-skinned girls did not like me because they said I was stuck-up and I thought I was better than others who were darker than myself.    That main comment I would ALWAYS hear was (rolling their necks) "You think you FINE and ALL THAT because you're light-skinned with pretty hair; and Yes you are light-skinned because you are lighter than we are".  You talking about looking dumbfounded...Lol!!  I was never that type of girl, but they made the assumption instantly because of the shade of my skin. I just could not believe that foolery, even as a child.

 

You all have heard many of the stereotypes that are still being associated within society to date.  Light-skinned stereotypes are: pretty, gorgeous hair, gets all the boys/men, stuck-up, get all the jobs, can't fight, prissy, timid, always fit and slim, just all around clean.

 

Brown-skinned stereotypes aren't as highlighted as light and dark.  However, some are: we get the jobs, boys/men, clean, dress well, down-to-earth, outgoing, sometimes snooty, nice hair, pretty smiles and mostly calm and easy-going.

 

Dark-Skinned stereotypes are: ugly, big noses, nappy hair, not attractive to men, dirty, smell bad, the best fighters/defenders, last to get jobs, not accepted in society, outspoken, loud and just obnoxious.

 

See, people often think that only dark-skinned males/females get scrutinized...Ha!! WRONG!!  Someone of a different shade has experienced the stupidity as well.  These are the type of things that has some black women using bleach creams to lighten their skin and have their daughters wanting white dolls instead of black dolls.

 

All of these things are Ridiculous, but this is our society and how our OWN race perceives the next black man/woman.  Many of you may have prejudices and not realize it.  Have you ever made a comment to someone else about their skin tone but didn't think it was a big deal?  Think about it.  Do you feel that whatever skin tone you are has caused you to be picked on or personally stereotyped?  If so, comment about it below.  I, myself would love to read about your experiences.  I can guarantee that others have heard the same things and you will realize that you are not alone.

 

What's crazy is that there will still be some people reading this, smacking their lips talking about "Whatever, light-skinned people do think they are better; dark-skinned people are ugly!!  She don't know what the hell she talking about!! (Roll eyes, snap fingers)...Lol!!  It's all good though.  I Embrace my Beauty.

 

Come on people... Seriously though... Get Over Yourselves!!   Stand your ground and love the skin you're in.  No one else can do it better. 

 

We have to teach the younger generations to love themselves and accept who they are because life is hard and hey... Life is just that... HARD!!  Do not allow others and their opinions define who YOU are as a person.  BE YOU!!